As a gift to all of the teachers, my company treated all of the teachers to a relaxing Spa Day right before classes start on Monday. They titled it “The Calm Before the Storm”, and if today was calm, I don’t want to know what the storm will be like.
Let’s begin. The morning started off with us getting on the wrong bus. It was a simple fix to get on the correct bus, turn around and arrive at the “Swimming Spa”. What is a swimming spa, you ask. I will explain. Please try and keep up, for it is a little…strange.
Supplies: Swim suit, Swim cap, Flip-flops, high threshold for pain.
Once all of those are gathered, stuff your hair into a too tight swim cap, and hop on into the pool. Its semi-warm and there are lots of places to sit or lay down. Pick a spot, there will be a button near by, press it, and a highly powerful jet of water will gush out at a specific part of your body. It was called “Chinese Water Puncture Treatment”, and there are stations all around the pool to work thighs, butts, backs, shoulders, arms, etc. Really, though, it feels like a person is poking you very hard with a big old stick. After maybe thirty seconds decide you’ve had enough and try out another
torture device water treatment. Also, each of these seems to be a cure for all manner of ailments. From hypertension to hemorroids, joint pain to thigh trimming, just stand under a high pressure hose and be cured.
Upon tiring of the pool, revert to the simplicity of the sauna. Then jump into the ice bath for an invigorating adrenaline rush.
Shower, exit, and wish you’d thought to bring a snack.
Luckily, we teachers were also given a free lunch before we left on our next adventure.
Myself and three other teachers took a taxi to our next destination. Little did we know that we got into a cab with a direction-challenged driver. We gave him a card with the address written out in Chinese. He started driving, called his company for directions, we called our friends for directions, and in the end he turned around twice and dropped us off three blocks away. Some friendly door men helped us out, and we finally arrived at yet another spa. This one specialized in massages.
We were escorted to rooms two by two, provided alternative clothing for our massage time, and given coconut milk in preparation for our TWO HOUR Chinese Massage.
Now what followed wasn’t so much a massage as being hit, stepped on, and fiercely dug into by a tiny yet unbelievably strong Chinese woman. I’ve got bruises.
We went to dinner, got Italian as a reward for enduring all that. Then I bought dark chocolate from the import market.
I would say this was my most interesting day in China, by far. It was hilarious, fun, surprising, and educational all at once. What am I doing here if not for new experiences?
Hope that was silly enough for you,