Real Talk

I wrote about three months ago that it was time for me to be honest. Well, I think it is time for a part two. 

I teach 7th graders in the mornings five days a week. I teach the same exact lesson sixteen times to 16 classes of fifty students. That’s 800 kids, if you were counting. Eight hundred faces  looking at me, trying so hard to understand my American English, and thinking of any word they can that could possibly answer my question.That’s sixteen classes that I greet, ask to be quiet, play games with, and have to pretend to be surprised when they tell me the same things the last 14 classes did.

 Acting instead of teaching.

I feel like I am lying.

Its tiring. 

So, as if it were ever up in the air, I officially decided to come back to America. I will not be teaching next year. (Most people in the international teaching game do it for a few years, but not this girl.) 

With that decision comes the big question of what the h-e-double-hockey-sticks is next then?

I don’t know. 

I do know that if one other person tells me that its good that I now know teaching is not for me, I may hit them. Sure, I can check it off my future careers list, but it never was there in the first place.

Heck, I don’t have a future careers list.

I have a map, and I want to go to all the places.  

I want to write. 

I want to live somewhere that requires me not to have a car.

I want to go back to Russia. 

I want to translate. 

I want to know if this is all crazy. 

I don’t want to be afraid of the big and beautiful future that I have been given.

I am open for suggestions. 

Thanks for reading, 

SchmaudImage

 

 

 

 

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3 thoughts on “Real Talk

  1. First, this is the second time I have been thinking, “hey, we haven’t seen a new blog post from Audrey in a while” & then BAM! you post one. Starting to freak me out. I was just thinking about you this morning!!! Anyway, just want to encourage you but I’m horrible at knowing what to say. I’m sorry you feel frustrated about your future. The only thing I know to say is don’t let go of your dreams. You can accomplish anything you want. You just have to decide which one to do first. Hugs!!!! See you in August!!

  2. My suggestion (though not always the best) is keep your opitons open and talk about your dreams to everyone. I have noticed that people that talk about their dreams and stay focused on them usualy achieve them. Why because people listen and know other people and hear about things that might take you a step closer to your dream. I have no dought that you will achieve your dreams. You have a uplifting spirit and true heart towards people. Keep focused on your dreams and only except those jobs that progress you towards your dreams.

  3. I was silly enough to know that teaching wasn’t for me and yet I got a degree in it anyway. Even still, it led me to the path I’m on now. God has a way of getting you where He wants you to go and uses everything in your experiences to help you grow and to help others. You are learning so much about people and different cultures. It will open up many opportunities you never thought about. Just hang in there. Only 4 months to go. Love you and miss you.

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